New Year’s Resolutions are BS and Why They Fail

New Year’s resolutions are holiday wish lists that are unrealistic, unattainable, and unpredictable. Most people make New Year’s resolutions for things they have never done or in line with who or where they are in their life. Research done by Strava, a social network for athletes, is predicting that January 19, 2020 (last year was January 12th) is the day that most people will say “f*ck it” to their New Year’s resolutions. They calculated this day by analyzing over 822 million online global activities from 2019.

Insanity is doing the same sh*t repeatedly expecting different results, but 90% of people do it with New Year’s resolutions like clockwork…

In other words, it’s simply a TERRIBLE TRADITION.

There are so many reasons why resolutions aren’t successful, and the problem has less to do with the people and more to do with the terrible tradition itself. You could create all the New Year’s resolutions in the world, but without a reasonable approach, sustainable outlook, and a solid action plan, you’ll be doomed for failure every single time. You aren’t conditioned to focus on 365 days, your body prioritizes survival so naturally your focus is moment-to-moment or day-to-day, not year-to-year.

UNREASONABLY UNREALISTIC

A lot can happen in a year: change of plans, unexpected pregnancy, sudden job loss and they all influence your willpower. It’s too much to try and rework a yearly goal so most people just say “F*ck it.” They get this “fake hope” syndrome that makes them feel like they can kick their deepest vices. The decision to change makes them feel good, empowered, and like they’re in control of their life, yes…for ONE day!

Know that 95% of your personality is preconditioned, which means it will be easier to pursue what is known to you, habitual if you must and with that: forget about making big life improvements.

Self-change efforts always start well when motivation and frustration is high, but as time goes on it becomes more difficult to sustain and people plateau or relapse. All it takes is one or more relapses for people to start feeling even worse than before they even started. It’s not your fault, you were brought up (just like all of us) with your own set of bad habits (procrastination, laziness, self-doubt, etc) and although what has happened to you is not your fault, your healing and evolution is totally your responsibility.

Big change however, can be overwhelming, haha what do you mean I have to shift my entire family history? I get it, it’s a lot to be the change you seek, some people just resort to getting more “financially adequate” partners instead of getting their sh*t together with their bills but these “not so convenient” solutions always backfire, because living aware and consequent is the best way to lead your life. After that, go out and date, and leave a nice tip to your waiter!

To best embark on change this year, I recommend a more digestible approach. Let’s break down macro goals into micro actions to support those goals and step away from the realms of distraction, delusion and disappointment. Don’t you find it way easier to pay a monthly subscription service, than to take out the whole chunk for the yearly rate at once? What if you had to pay all of your hospitals bill TODAY? I know, we only want a big chunk of yearly money only when we are in fact, getting our tax returns, right?

MICRO RESOLUTIONS are your path to success.

We live in a world of information, distraction, and instant gratification, and that can impact our expectations when it comes to making a New Year’s resolution. We also live in a time where the smallest things are the most powerful. Cell phones, smart tablets, and their apps are what drive productivity, connection, and communication. Social media apps like Twitter, Snap, and Tik Tok are wildly popular because they epitomize the less is more approach (they are also leading to more ADD, but that will be another entry).

Considering that most things happen in your life monthly, micro-resolutions are common sense, sustainable, and low risk. First start with macro (year) resolutions as a broad intention, then break them down into one to three micro-resolutions, practice them for a month, and then you can start layering on new ones if you like. Small changes done consistently start a ripple of other positive behavior changes without the need for a lot of willpower or discipline.

Why?

1. Because they are digestible actions
2. They provide instant benefits
3. Are reasonable expectations that are achievable NOW 

A MICRO RESOLUTION: Is a manageable goal for you and if you mess up, you’ll feel less like a failure because you have a whole new month ahead of you to try again with the same or move on to a new one

If you have something tangible that you can check off a list every day you’ll be more motivated, empowered, and accountable to reach your desired outcome. If you wanted to cycle 200 miles in a year, you couldn’t wait until the last day of 2020 to do all those miles. You literally couldn’t. But you could cycle 16 miles a month and that would be more gratifying and manageable to check off the list don’t you think? By breaking down your goal into 12 or 365 manageable goals, you’ll feel more accomplished, motivated, and will be more likely to naturally reach your goals by years end.

You won’t do all your micro-resolutions and will fail sometimes, and that’s okay. Some months will go well while others will be a hot mess. Regardless you’re going to learn something new or about yourself either way. Just focus on the month at hand and be judgment-free.

Micro-resolutions change your mindset, if you apply this way of thinking in every area of your life, it soon will become second nature and you’ll find that any of your large hopes, dreams, and needs are easier, manageable, and attainable. Instead of cutting something completely out like alcohol, sweets, or carbs, set yourself a manageable limit or limit to once of a week or month of indulgence.

This year I double dare you to try my micro-resolution solution and find the power of the smallest possible action becoming a catalyst for the biggest positive changes throughout your life. You’ll never elevate to the height of your goals, you’ll always fall back on your daily routines, habits, and tendencies you use to reach your goals, unless you work on your mindset and externalize that through sustained action.  Here are some ideas to get you started to make 2020 your greatest year of growth!

JANUARY –

1. Finish processing and reflecting on elements of 2019.
2. Forgive people (regardless of who was right), gracefully end toxic relationships, and release any tension, stress, or negativity that’s holding me back.
3. Think about, create, and plan my micro-resolutions for the year.

FEBRUARY –

1. Start doing cardio 3 times a week for no less than 30 minutes.
2. Start doing 20 minutes of self-care or “Me time” at least once a day.
3. Start listening to 1 inspiring podcast no less than 1 time a week.

MARCH –

1. Read 1 book
2. Eat a salad 5 out of 7 days a week
3. Reduce average daily screen time by one hour

APRIL –

1. Take a yoga, meditation, or mindfulness classes 1 time a week
2. Drink at least half my weight in ounces of water every day
3. Make 70% of the food I eat at home

MAY –

1. Take at least 1 HIIT class a week
2. Check social media only three times a day for no more than 10 minutes each time
3. Engage with at least one stranger a day and compliment them

JUNE –

1. At every red light I encounter, take 3 deep breaths.
2. I will do at least one hike or something outside in nature for at least 30 minutes once a week
3. I will limit alcohol to one time a week with a 2-drink maximum

JULY –

1. I will do a massage, Cryo, LED sauna, steam room, or some other type of regenerative activity once a week
2. I will foam roll for at least 10 minutes every single time I go to the gym
3. I will add one superfood to my daily eating experience

AUGUST –

1. I will consciously stop trying to multitask and focus on doing one thing at a time with my full undivided attention
2. I will do 15 minutes of core strengthening at least 3 times a week
3. I will make my bed every morning right after I wake up

SEPTEMBER –

1. I will pay extra to shrink one of my CC debts
2. I will build in 10 minutes of play or laughter into each day
3. I will declutter one drawer, closet, or other thing that has built up

       OCTOBER –

1. I will get up and walk around 2 – 3 times an hour if I’m sitting most of the day
2. I will eat only protein and fat for breakfast
3. I will stop eating at 8pm at night

NOVEMBER –

1. I will slow down when I’m eating and mindfully eat my food without any distractions
2. I will give up using disposable plastic as much as I can (containers, lids, utensils and plastic straws)
3. I will lay out what I’m wearing, food, and supplements for the next day the night before

DECEMBER –

1. I will be in bed at 9:30pm at night and asleep by 10pm
2. Try to reconnect with one friend a week that I have lost touch with this year
3. Throw away 7 items a week that I don’t need and that don’t make me happy

Spend less energy on your resolutions and more energy focusing on your foundations, routines, mindset, and daily actions. This is ultimately the land that is groomed long BEFORE the resolution is successful. If you craft your own doable micro-resolutions monthly, or use mine for inspiration, I’m sure you will have an amazing year where most importantly: you will feel great about yourself. Self-discipline and self-care are the core of a healthy self-esteem.

Sending you love, light, and laughter!

M